What’s Your Relationship Routine?

You have a routine for almost everything…hygiene, workout, skincare, morning. But what about your relationship?

Great relationships, just like great skin, physical fitness, and your health don't just happen. They must be intentional, focused and require work. The good news is, the work you put into your relationship is extremely rewarding in the short-term as well as the long run. 

Have you ever considered creating such habits and routines?

Maybe you already have some that are working well but if not, here are a few things for you to consider as you plan your routine. Think of these as the daily micro-nutrients that fuel your relationship for the long haul. The destination being a securely functioning, emotionally connected relationship that stands the test of time. 

Let’s start with the daily coming and going…How you and your partner navigate these partings and reunions are more important than you may realize. Creating habits around these literally take only a few minutes but have a huge impact on the emotional connection you have with each other. When parting for the day, be sure to take a few minutes to turn to each other, make eye contact, and say good-bye. You can try breath hugs by holding each other and taking three deep slow breaths together. This will not only give you good ‘feels’, you will also experience a sense of calm because you are ‘co-regulating’ each other's nervous systems and releasing oxytocin.

Equally important is the daily reunion. What’s the first thing you do, say, or reach for when you get home? Intentionally and mindfully, tuning into each other even for a brief moment with touch, eye contact, and words of love and affirmation reestablishes a safe reconnection between the two of you at the end of the day and strengthens your emotional bond. This also allows you the opportunity to check in and find out how your partner is doing.  

In addition to partings and reunions, you can establish habits for checking in throughout the day with a text message or lunchtime call to convey a loving message. You can also add evening convos to sit face to face and talk about your day with no phone or tv. 

I know…simple but not easy especially when you have a very busy life.

Life is stressful, mornings can be hurried, and you're exhausted after a long day. But this is exactly the point. Numerous research studies have linked having a great relationship with good physical health, well-being, and longevity. When you take the time to pour into each other your relationship becomes a resource allowing you to carry the burden of life together, as partners.

Rather than thinking of your relationship routine as a ‘have to’ think of it as a ‘get to’ and begin reaping the benefits right away.