Silent Relationship Killer
You’ve probably heard of death by a thousand cuts...
But this is different.
Rather than the small cuts that hurt your partner and damage your relationship, this silent killer is more like micro-betrayals that occur, over and over, each time you stay quiet about the things that bother you about your spouse.
All the things you don’t say, become the silent killer.
Maybe you convince yourself that whatever is upsetting you isn't that big of a deal, or perhaps you worry about starting a fight by bringing things up. While yes, it may be uncomfortable to express how you feel, the fact is, avoiding conflict in the present, ultimately CREATES bigger conflict in the long run.
I get it... you don't want to rock the boat!
You just you want to keep the peace and avoid the dreaded fight... BUT you must consider the longer term consequences of NOT bringing things up when they happen.
Eventually all the stored up hurt, frustration, and anger starts to seep out… you find yourself annoyed by everything your partner does, and you start pulling away little by little.
The accumulated micro-betrayals can lead to bigger betrayals, like an affair, as you find yourself seeking comfort from another person that you can confide in about how you're feeling in your marriage.
You finally dump everything out on your partner all at once (the ultimate betrayal). All the years of unhappiness that they never had a chance to know about or respond to...and now it's too late to fix it all.
This is why I believe …
Actually, how I KNOW that effective communication is critical to the success of a long-term, happy marriage.
If you do not know how to bring things up and talk about how you feel, you WILL grow apart.
So, I’m sharing with you the necessary ingredients from my Happy Marriage Formula™, for effective relationship communication.
I call it REALove™ Communication. It's a way of speaking to your partner that doesn't trigger them into defensiveness, allowing for vulnerability and openness in the process of talking about your feelings and needs.
REALove™ Communication must be:
Responsive and respectful. You speak in a respectful manner, and respond openly and honestly to each other.
Engaged and emotionally calm. You're fully present and without distraction. You feel calm and safe with each other to express what you are feeling and needing.
Accessible. You feel that you can reach your partner. You feel seen, heard and validated.
Loving. You get the comfort, soothing, and support you need from each other.
When you incorporate these into your communication, your relationship will thrive!